INCEST: TABOO IN NAME ONLY

The term "incest" is derived from the Latin "incestum", meaning unclean, unchaste. It is generally regarded as the universal taboo, based on such theories as an "instinctive" repugnance to sexual intercourse among closely-knit groups or an early understanding of the biological ill effects of inbreeding. These theories, besides being scientifically questionable (see Evelyn Reed's Woman's Evolution) merely cloud what has become a significant social problem.

Legally, incest includes sexual relations between any close relatives-siblings, fathers and offspring, mothers and offspring. The important question, however, is not whether it fits into any legal definition, but whether it is consensual. If it is not, it constitutes rape and sexual abuse.

The data that has managed to sift through, the secrecy concerning incest strongly suggests that the most prevalent form occurs between fathers or male adult family members and female children. Literature on the subject abounds with theories of the "seductive" child and the "Lolita complex" in attempts to shift the burden of guilt upon the female or imply that the behavior is consensual. The reality is that most cases of father-daughter incest begin when the child is very young and hardly in a position to initiate sexual relations or to defend herself against a sexually abusive man, much less a man whom she is taught to trust.

To understand and to put an end to the sexual abuse of children by male family members requires that we challenge the dynamics of the family structure itself. As Susan Brownmiller says in Against Our Will, "The unholy silence that shrouds the interfamily sexual abuse of children and prevents a realistic appraisal of its true incidence and meaning is rooted in the same patriarchal philosophy of sexual private property that shaped and determined male attitudes toward rape. For if woman was man's original corporate property, then children were, and are, a wholly-owned subsidiary.

WSW hopes that the following articles will help stimulate further discussion and exploration of the problem of interfamily sexual abuse of children.

Facts and Myths of Family Rape

Rape by a stranger is brutal and quick. Rape by a relative is brutal and usually continual. The difference is that people more readily understand that strangers rape; what they do not understand is that fathers, brothers, uncles, and mothers rape.

Rape is not motivated by sexual desire but rather by anger and a need for power over the less powerful. This clear fact becomes suddenly vague to many when a case of family rape is reported. Instead of immediate action, which any crisis demands, institutions such as police and hospitals, as well as social workers, psychologists and other human service professionals, wallow in inaction, claiming to be maintaining objective, open minds. This game is not a new one-it is called doubt (and/or blame) the victim. The result is a tragic one, in which the child victim is still left defenseless, vulnerable and fearful.

There are many myths which have contributed to this ineffectiveness:

Myth 1: Incest is a Taboo

Disbelief is often based on the inability to comprehend that rape and molestation in the family are not all that rare. The FBI does not keep records on sexual offenses against children. Other shocking statistics bear out the widespread reality of Family Rape. Testimony before a 1977 Senate Subcommittee stated that at least one out of every four girls is sexually abused in childhood, primarily by close family members or family friends.

The actual taboo is not against victimization in the family, but in talking about it.

The word "incest" itself does not connote violence or force. The word is used flippantly and often jokingly. Schoolyard children can be heard reciting rhymes such as "Vice is nice, but incest is best." The term "incest" is a cuphemism for rape/sexual assault. It is precisely for this reason that the Rape Crisis Center, in an effort to raise our communiy's consciousness, names it Family Rape.

Myth 2: Children, Especially Adolescents, are Seductive

Sigmund Freud has left an indelible mark on socicty, one which women must spend a lot of energy to eradicate. His concept of women and female sexuality is imbedded in the professions of psychology,

Youth Alternatives/cpf

medicine, advertising, and the movie screen. For example, Florence Rush in her article "Sexual Abuse of Children" states that "Bender and Blau [experts in child study] noted that the most striking feature of sexually assaulted children was their unusually, attractive personalities....The myth of childhood innocence seems, in the main, to have been rejected and some degree of participation by the victim group is accepted by all studies."

This belief that the child victim has in some way contributed to the "incestuous relationship" is a common theme in any counseling or intervention offered to the family. The fact is that in most cases the sexual abuse started at the early age of 4, 5 or 6 and steadily escalates from genital fondling to vaginal penetration, often at puberty.

Let me restate lest we forget: rape is not motivated by sexual desire, but out of anger and a need for power. A rapist looks for a vulnerable target, one

who is easily intimidated and controlled. Children are not only vulnerable, but totally powerless. They are taught from an early age that parents are always right and not to question, and that it is sinful to disobey one's father and mother. "Don't talk back"-"Do as I say"—"Don't ask me why, just do it". These are all familiar statements.

Recent studies of child offenders have indicated that they assaulted children because they were keenly aware of the child's inability to say no and that the assault was an attack out of frustration and lack of power in their lives.

Myth 3: Fathers Rape Their Daughters Because They Are Alcoholics

In many traditional studies on child abuse, alcoholism is cited frequently as a factor. Thus, the conclusions often drawn maintain that if you cure the alcoholism, you cure the sexual abuse. Rape Crisis. Centers across the country have been experiencing the contrary. Alcoholism, which still appears as a factor in some cases, is not present in the large majority. More commonly, the father-rapist is religious, law abiding, hard-working and/or authoritarian, and comes from a lower, middle or upper class background.

Individuals and families which are usually identified to the system as problematic are more likely to come from a lower socioeconomic level and have additional problems and stresses which would account for this disparity.

Alcoholism has been viewed as not only the cause, but the excuse. Traditionally, professionals have believed that since he was drunk, he did not really understand what he was doing. The fact is that even in those cases where alcoholism was an issue, the daughter was frequently assaulted when the offender was sober. In one case, an alcoholic father did not start raping his teenage daughter until after he had stopped drinking. Clearly the drinking and later assaults were outlets for anger and frustration.

Myth 4: Mothers Always Know on Some Level

Women are always held responsible for their own victimization: if it isn't the victim's fault, it's the rapists's wife's, and if not hers, his mother's, and so on. Past literature has called mothers passive, collusive, domineering, sexually rejecting, and manipulative. Our experience has matched those of other Rape Crisis Centers and points to the fact that in many cases the mother really does not know about the assaults. Victims of Family Rape go to great lengths to keep the truth from their mothers and other family members for many reasons. They've been threatened, blame themselves, and feel ashamed. They are often very protective of their mothers and do not wish to see them hurt or upset. Mothers are easy targets for institutional and profes sional anger, which shifts the blame from the actual offender to her. She becomes the failure-not him.

These are only a few of the many myths which surround Family Rape-myths which contribute to society's rationalization and unspoken approval of male aggression and female victimization. It is up to women to dispel these myths, to continue to speak out against our exploitation, and to voice the truth.

-Mary Sue Convery

Mary Sue Convery is Counseling Coordinator of the Cleveland Rape Crisis Center. She has been a member of the Rape Crisis Center Collective for two years.

Page 8/What She Wants/April,, 1979